So Thanksgiving is behind us, and I promise to post some pictures at some point, but now we're moving into "the Move Zone" and I won't be posting much until after we're moved in our new house. Our schedule from here on out is very hectic, and adding the Christmas holidays really does cause problems, especially b/c all our family is out of town, so that adds even more traveling in the mix. I am still in Houston with the girls b/c Jon is in Virginia on a business trip. He gets home Thursday night, and then Friday morning we are driving back to La. Friday night our church is having Parents' Night Out, so we'll get to spend a much needed evening alone together, and possibly our last for a while until we get settled in and can find a sitter. This Saturday we will finish up our Christmas shopping and then that night is our going away party with our Sunday School class. Sunday through Thursday we'll start pulling things out that we don't want the movers to take and things that we're going to need after the movers leave with our stuff. Just thinking about everything that we have to get done in those 4 days is stressing me out!!! Next Friday, Dec 18 the movers come to start packing, and we'll will move into a hotel to the movers don't pack the girls. lol (it's a little relocation humor). Tuesday, Dec 22 the movers pull out of town with our stuff, and my family gets into town for Chipmunk's adoption. Wednesday, Dec 23rd is Chipmunk's adoption day!! YEA!!!! YEA!!!! YEA!!!! That afternoon my family will leave to head back home, and that evening we'll have our last annual Christmas dinner with our friends in BR. Dec 24th we'll head to MS to have Christmas with Jon's family. Then the 26th we'll fly to Houston to have Christmas with my family. On the 29th Jon will fly back to MS to pick up our car and his dad, and they will begin the journey to VA. My mom and I will fly up to Va with the girls on Jan. 3. Please, Lord, help me stay sane!!!
While the move is going to be so hectic and difficult for me, I am really struggling with something even more difficult. Our precious dog, Maddie, is 7 years old, and until last year was our baby (and was treated as such). For the last year she has really gotten aggressive towards the girls and even Jon and me, and I've basically been making excuses for her. She was having to adjust to all the noises that babies make as well as the lack of attention now that we had two babies. It was an adjustment for her, and I was hoping that she would eventually get used to the chaos, but it hasn't happened. She hasn't actually bitten the girls, but she has snapped at them and she nipped my hand. As much as I don't want to admit it, I think our only option is to put her to sleep. I can't justify finding her another home b/c most people are around children at some point, and I just wouldn't be able to live with myself if she bit someone b/c she was 1. feeling threatened, and 2. stressed b/c she couldn't find us. When we leave her for any period of time with my parents she goes and hides in their closet b/c she misses us, and I just wouldn't be able to stand the fact that she was missing us so terribly. I don't want to give her to an elderly person (though I think they would love how she's such a lap dog) b/c she does get under our feet a lot, and I don't want them to trip on her and get hurt. She does have seizures that increase as her stress level increases, and that's a lot for another person who hasn't loved her from the start to take on. I am so torn up by the fact that we're going to have to put her to sleep. She is my first baby, but I don't know what to do with her, and that absolutely breaks my heart. Jon said that he would take her to the vet so I wouldn't have to do it, but honestly, I think it's something that I need to do. It started out with just the two of us (I got her before I married Jon), and I think I would rather it just be the two of us when she "goes to sleep". Plus, I think I'll need those last few moments alone with her. Do any of you have any advice for me? I've never had to do this, and I'm tearing up just thinking about it. Would it be better for Jon to do it so I don't have to have that memory? I hate this!!!!!!!!!!!
Disclaimer: I realize she's a dog, and most people are probably rolling their eyes at me right now b/c you don't understand, but please don't criticize me for how I feel about my dog. If you feel like I'm overreacting, please keep those comments to yourself. Reading those kinds of comments on top of this stress and the stress from the move isn't what I need right now.
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Dont' feel like you are overreacting- dogs become members of our family and they are like children- so it is understandable that this is hard.
ReplyDeletePutting her down doesn't have to be the only option. Dogs do this when they are confused about who is in charge and what is going on. Obviously with the girls around her "normal" has been shaken up and she is taking it upon herself to be in charge. There are things you can do to take the control back and hopefully this will adjust her attitude. It can take a bit of work but once she understands what's going on- things should be good again. Let me know if you are interested in hearing some suggestions- I don't want to bombard you with them on here- but i just wanted to let you know that there can be a second option :)
I know you are in a very difficult position, especially with two little ones around. Email me if you want :)
marcerella02@hotmail.com
-Marci
I hope the move goes smoothly--well, as smoothly as a move can go.
ReplyDeleteAs for your doggie I so understand your feelings. Animals can truly be a family member. Please, before you put her down, get a second vet opinion. Maybe there is something else that can be done to help the situation. And I would ask the vet if he knows of any people who might like to take ownership of her, there are people out there who would love to care for an older special needs dog.
I hope all works out and that you, the girls, and Jon love living in Virginia!
Please do not destroy your dog. If this is not been her personality forever, then she can be rehabilitated. I work with a rescue org. and we have people who volunteer as foster families specifically for dogs who need to go thru rehab before being placed with a new family. I am sure you can find one near you (do NOT take her to the SPCA as most are kill shelters and they most likely will destroy her since she is an older dog). Just do some internet searches. Your dog is trying to display a dominant attitude and a rehab specialist will teach your dog to be calm-submissive, mostly thru exercise with purpose. I know you love her and clearly your life is hectic and busy with the little ones, so I am not judging you as a person... there is just not time for everything. But I would ask you not to punish your dog for your failure as a doggie mom (do you take her one long walks twice a day? many dogs need at least an hour of structured exercie and it is REALLY hard to find that kind of time!. (again, I am not trying to mean... I am certainly not the diligent dog mom I was before the arrival of our little one). But please give her a chance! We would love to have our six year old dog back. We made the choice to euthanize her after her cancer spread. We spent every penny we could scrape ($10,000+) to give her a couple extra months and in the end she was a bit more aggressive due to the meds, but we made it work and changed around schedules etc so that she and the other dogs would not have to interact. Don't put a healthy one down!!! If you do love her, it will only make you feel guilty afterwards and add to your stress. A new home is a much better solution!
ReplyDeleteone other idea: is it possible she is not feeling well? maybe have the vet check her out. Dogs who don't feel well often become aggressive.
ReplyDeletePlease, Please, Please, Please, PLEASE don't put her to sleep. There are other options. I have a Maddie dog too and cried when I read this. Is she in Houston now? Because I will come and get her if that's what you need. I see other people have given their opinions so I won't give you mine, but before you do anything drastic, please email me and I can get her.
ReplyDeleteKim.Artall@gmail.com
wow...I can't imagine dealing with all that in one month! I don't have any advice, just understanding...
ReplyDeleteOur dog Blue was aggressive after Ayden was born too, and we couldn't really decide what to do, but shortly after we moved and he was still "on vacation" at my parents' place, he was run over during the night, and looking back, I think he was taken from us b/c we couldn't stand to make a decision, so it was made for us? (although Keith and I were sure at the time that some stranger was taking revenge b/c he had been mean to them - circumstances were very odd, making us think it was more than an accident) We only had him a couple of years before Ayden, and when Blue was run over, Ayden was not quite 1 yr, so he doesn't really remember, he just knows we have pics.
Ayden really wants a dog but we haven't quite been able to go for it yet, mostly b/c Spencer is still little and we don't have a fence where we live currently. There are dogs on both sides of us though, so we get to pet them and not get too attached. :)
Before you make such a final decision, please please talk to your vet. He'll first do an exam on her to see if there is a physical reason for her behavior. He also might be able to suggest some kind of Puppy Prozac for her. Otherwise, maybe you could find a local dachsund rescue organization to help you. They have foster mothers who specialize in special needs dogs who would foster her until the perfect family for her (well, not quite a perfect as you, but you know what I mean.).
ReplyDeleteI would never discout your love for your doggie. I have 2 cats that have had some issues adjusting to our move and the fact that raccoons have apparently taken up residence in the unoccupied upstairs unit. They have beem marking throughout our unit. This completely ticks off my husband but I'm working with them and we're making some really good progress.
If you do make the decision to put her to sleep, maybe you and your husband could go together. After all, she's his baby too. You can grieve together.
I'm sorry you're facing this, what a difficult decision.
ReplyDeleteIf you do end up euthanasing her I do think you should go with her, for her sake, so she can go in love not with strangers.
I cannot imagine how stressed you must feel right now. All of that plus caring for two little ones, wow!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about your dog. That is not an easy decision and you've obviously thought a lot about it. I don't blame you at all for being so broken up about it and I wish I had some advice for you.
Good luck with all that is on your plate!