HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY, LITTLE BIT!!!

When people say that today is a bittersweet day they have no idea just how true that statement is to an adoptive mom. Yes, it's bittersweet b/c my Little Bit is learning more and more each day and becoming more independant. But it's also bittersweet b/c I am thinking about Little Bit's birthmom, Carmen, today. Despite all of her drug issues, I know that she is thinking of Little Bit today and missing her. I wish that I could talk to her and tell her how much I appreciate her. I want so desperately for her to overcome her drug habits, but I know it's going to take strength beyond herself to kick it, and I hope and pray she can find that strength some day. In the meantime my heart will hurt for her, but it will also rejoice with the beautiful girl that she gave us.

I wrote a letter to Little Bit for her to read one day. I hope that I can continue this tradition with both our girls. I wasn't there for either of their "birth"days, but I got there as soon as I could. :) (2.5 weeks later for Little Bit and 3 weeks later for Chipmunk)






My Sweet Little Bit,

For years your daddy and I had prayed for a baby to bless our lives, and little did we know that God had plans bigger than we could ever imagine. The day He brought you into our lives was the day that our hearts opened up and experienced a love bigger than we could ever imagine. There were concerns about your health from the time you were born, but all of those concerns melted away once our eyes met. You immediately captured our hearts, and it didn't matter what the future held, we were prepared to meet every challenge head on. You endured each needle stick and test with amazing strength, only crying for a short time, and then your sweet smile would appear as if nothing had happened. I think I cried more than you on those days when you had to have your blood tests done! I was constantly amazed by your bravery and strength!!

Watching you explore the world around you with such curiosity and excitement is the highlight of my day! I wish that I could face each new moment in my life with the same enthusiasm and wonder. Your smiles are infectious, but my favorite moments we have together are the ones when you grab my face with both of your hands and give me your sweet kisses. I could do that all day and it would never get old. I love the fact that you are my cuddly baby girl. You always love to cuddle when you're sleepy, but it just melts my heart when you stop playing to come over and love on me. You lay your sweet head on my leg and give me a hug. You love so deeply and innocently. All people should love the way that you do! The world would be a better place if they did.

It has been a joy to celebrate your successes...your smiles and giggles, rolling over, crawling, walking, your first words, and the list goes on! You are capable of achieving anything you want in life, and I promise to be your biggest cheerleader and supporter so that you have the inner strength to try anything to set your mind to. But despite your best efforts, there will be times in your life when you don't succeed, and I promise to be there to catch you when you fall, comforting you and encouraging you to try again.

The world is your canvas, sweet baby girl, and you will make me proud no matter what you do! Describing how much I love you just can't be done in words, and I hope to show you every day just how much you have changed my life!! I am so proud of the little girl you are becoming, and I am so looking forward to watching you grow to be a successful, strong young woman!

Love ALWAYS,
Mommy