It Was Bound to Happen

Since moving to VA I have joined a playgroup so the girls could meet and play with some people their age, but also so I could meet some moms in the area. Of course none of them have adopted children, and I've been okay with that until last week. I've been okay with pregnancy announcements and I've also been okay with pregnant moms in the group (SUCCESS!!!). But, last week at a playdate another mom in the group went on and on about her pregnancy, and that totally brought the ugly green-eyed IF monster out in me. She's new to the group, and Little Bit and her little girl were playing together, so I initiated conversation with her. But as soon as the hostess, who happens to be preggers, walked in, this woman immediately turned her attention to her and started talking about their pregnancies, leaving me totally in the dust. And then in walks another woman announcing her new pregnancy (which I was again okay with b/c they had done IVF and it was a success), so what does this other mom do??? She starts talking to her. For the first time in a long time I felt left out and completely jealous. It had absolutely NOTHING to do with having or not having kids. It was solely about pregnancy. Even when adoption completely fills my life with love that I never thought I'd EVER feel, the jealousy b/c I can't get pregnant and stay pregnant totally takes over and I momentarily forget how blessed I am to have my beautiful girls and I long to be pregnant again. UGH!!!!!! I knew this was bound to happen, but in the 4-5 months since I joined the playgroup, I've been okay with being the only mom who was blessed by adoption. We have a wonderful story, and I love to tell it to anyone who will listen, so I totally hate when something like this steals my joy. Now I've been looking at the website for the playgroup, and I'm not rsvp'ing for any playdates that "Jenn" is planning to attend, which is sad b/c the group is low on girls, so it was nice that the girls had another girl to play with. I was TOTALLY praying Jenn wouldn't RSVP for the playdate that I'm hosting in Sept (and she didn't, thank God!!). She may be a really nice girl, but right now all she wants to talk about is her pregnancy and how other pregnancies are going. So until she can come off her pregnancy high, I think it's best for me if I stay away. I don't like how I'm feeling right now, so it seems better to avoid than jump in and try to overcome the feelings. Maybe I'm taking the easy way out. I don't know, but I know I'm much happier when she's not at a playdate that we're attending.