Chipmunk's Birthmom

About a month ago I sent Chipmunk's birthmom an email letting her know that I had talked with the birthmother coordinator (Jill) at the agency and she had told me that she (Shannon) wanted to see Chipmunk again. So I wanted to let her know that when she was ready to see Chipmunk again that we would meet somewhere in town. And I started getting nervous when I didn't hear from her for weeks. But I finally got an email from her yesterday saying that she wasn't quite ready to see her yet. She thought it was still too soon and that if she were to see her that she would regret the decision she made. Shannon feels that she absolutely made the right decision, but she's really struggling with worrying whether Chipmunk will resent her when she's older. So I wrote her back and told her we completely understood how she was feeling and that we would do everything in our power to let Chipmunk know that Shannon loved her immensely and that she made the decision because she loved her, not because she didn't. And that she couldn't give her what she felt she deserved.

I suggested that she write a letter to Chipmunk for us to put away until she's old enough to understand, and tell her everything she feels about her in her own words. I think it would be a wonderful keepsake for Chipmunk, and in those moments when she's wondering about her birthmom, she can pull it out and read it again. I hope that she'll write at least one letter, but honestly, if she feels like doing it, I would love for her to write a letter to her whenever she feels like it. We are not ashamed of the fact that Chipmunk is adopted, and I pray that Chipmunk is never ashamed of being adopted. And I think that if she were to read Shannon's own words one day she would better understand the circumstances and feel more at ease with everything. We'll see if she takes us up on that offer. I certainly don't want her to do it if it's too difficult for her, but secretly in my heart I hope she wants to.